Season 4, Episode 5: I have Jesus and a Good Therapist with Leslie Rob

0:00:03 – Jessica
If you’re new here, welcome. And if you came back, oh God bless you. Thank you for coming back. This is the Jesus Fix it Podcast. With Jess, we talk about everything. Life it’s craziness, it’s ups and downs, because you know what Jesus can fix it and he can handle it all.

Okay, so today, Leslie Robb, comedian teacher, encourager I mean, you wear a lot of hats. So, first of all, thank you for talking to me. I am so excited to talk to you. I wanted to talk to you because, let me tell you, I am sitting. First of all, if you attended a Spirit FM’s Night of Love and Laughter, was it last year that you were? Yes, last year you were comedian for a night of love and laughter. Awesome, people are still talking about that, by the way. That’s so fun. So I’m super excited to be talking to you.

But I wanted to talk about mental health today and I know what you’re probably like. Okay, I’m a comedian. Why do you want to talk to me about mental health? Because, let me tell you so, I follow you on Instagram. I love, love following you on Instagram because when you get in those moments where you just need to take a break from work or whatever you’re doing. Every time I come across your post, I always have a giggle or pick me up or something. But a week or so ago I was scrolling through Instagram and I came across your post and it was encouragement about mental health. And I’m not saying that because you are this encourager, you are this comedian that surely you can’t be encouraging us to take care of our mental health. But it was just like another wake up call to me, because there are so many people that walk around who you would never think suffer from some type of mental health or want to speak on mental health, and I’m just like okay so here’s this funny person.

Here’s this person who’s always encouraging us to have a great day. Here’s this person who I always see with a smile on her face and she is posting about mental health and I’m just like, okay, I just always like to bring awareness to that, because there are so many people suffering that you that smile all the time, that encourage you to be strong, that encourage you to take care of yourself, but they may be the ones who are suffering too. So I don’t know. I just want to have a conversation.

0:02:49 – Leslie Rob
Yeah, so I struggle very much so with mental health from the form of depression and anxiety. Most of the time, the smile that you see is a blanket for Everything that I am holding under. So I struggle very much, though, with depression, and most of the time the smile you see is me trying to up with other people, but most of the time the heaviness is there, and so I battle with depression most of my life. Most recently, I Decided to take steps to get health because, as you know, in the Christian world it’s like, oh, jesus is my therapist, but guess what, you can love Jesus and your therapist, yes, yes. So I just recently started therapy, and so I’m working through that with a therapist. My depression comes from a lot of childhood trauma and PTSD, from that childhood trauma, from the range of bullying to things from home, to Things that happened to me at church, so a whole host of things, and so trying to bury those emotions and bury those things, those memories, contributed very heavily to my battle with depression.

My battle with anxiety is actually stemmed from my depression, and so the two together is just makes me a hot mess, is basically what it does so most of the time my Mission is, whenever the Lord called me into do comedy, was to take all the negativity, place it under my feet and allow the prop me up into my place of purpose. And so I Was at a low point in my life and I wanted to commit suicide. But I am a huge chicken and so I was like I’m not gonna do that. But I really wanted the Lord to just take me out. Like Lord, just let me die, like can you just let me die.

And at that point of begging him to take me out is where he called Me into comedy. And so he told me to take all that negativity, everything that I so a lot of times, when you go to a comedy show with me, I say, when life is hard, laugh, because laughter is indeed medicine for us. And so I take those things that Normal people would you know would cause them to lose it, and I use that. I All the things that that I’ve dealt with in my life. I turn it into joy, because God has now turned my morning into dancing and my sorrow into joy.

But here’s the thing a lot of people feel like once you become a Christian, that’s gonna kill you the person he’s gonna kill you of anxiety he’s gonna heal you from at all, but sometimes that’s not his will, and so a lot of times when the answer is no and he doesn’t heal you, you have to find the purpose in the pain, and so God has allowed my pain of mental health to help feel my purpose, and so at the end of each of my comedy shows now I do a whole, all the segment where I share my testimony in my story and I encourage people to take care of their mental health. So, yeah, so that has become something that I am a huge advocate for and moving forward, I hope to be an advocate for it even more, because a lot of times we fall into that mode where we feel like we have to pray it away, and sometimes praying it away that’s why I say it’s possible to love Jesus and your therapist. Yes, that’s my go-to phrase.

0:06:01 – Jessica
I wholeheartedly believe that, because I believe Jesus works through everything and he can work through everyone, and that includes therapists. And so I guess for me it was so hard for me when you know other Christians like when I was going through my bouts of depression for other Christians to just tell me just pray about it and it’ll go away. And I tried that for a while and nothing was happening. And I’m like surely God doesn’t want this for me, like, yes, he wants us to pray, but I’m sure, like he, you know, gave people wisdom and discernment and these gifts to be able to help people through these things for a reason Absolutely.

0:06:46 – Leslie Rob
Absolutely, because if we like kind of gash into our arms, we’re not going to say pray and the blood will stop. No, we’re going to go do something to get it, so not to get it for it to heal. You can’t just put a bandaid over a gaping wound, and so a lot of people tend to equate that you know, oh, I’m just going to pray and God’s going to make it better, and sometimes he does. But if his will is not to make it better, you have to seek the purpose and the pain.

0:07:16 – Jessica
Exactly yeah. So what do you do now when you have your bad days? Because, yes, you have this outlet. But I mean, we’re human and I like to say, okay, now I know what to do when anxiety sets in. Like I see a therapist and you know I have exercises because you’re in therapy, you know how we go, yeah you get coping.

We have our exercises, but we’re still human. Like I know there, like there was a couple months ago. I took a day and I curled up in a ball and I had my moment and I’m, what about my business? But so, like what do you do when you have those days when it’s just like okay? Or do you still have those days where it’s like okay, my call, absolutely my comedy isn’t helping, my therapist isn’t helping. I just need to sit here and feel all of whatever I’m going to feel and God work, and then I’m going to move on, Like, do you kind of have days like that still?

0:08:14 – Leslie Rob
Absolutely. I have days where I’m just like let it happen. You know, like you need to feel it, like, let yourself feel it, because I mean, that’s the if I were to, just, you know, have to talk it away or put it out of my mind or just wish it away, that’s no different than me saying, oh, I’m going to pray and God’s just going to take care of it, it’s fine. So on my low days, I have to feel it Like it’s the hardest thing ever, but I allow myself to feel it and to deal with it because there’s nothing else that I can do. And so, like you, my therapist gives me coping strategies and you know ways to kind of deal with it. But some days are just bad days, like not all days are going to be good days and we all know that. But when the bad days happen, you just have to, like you said yes, you take it to the Lord in prayer and you say, God, I need your help. But in the midst of it, in the midst of you going through it, if it’s, if nothing’s working, nothing’s taking a lot yourself to feel it and to deal like because there’s nothing else, in my opinion, that works better than allowing myself to feel it and just like, embrace it and just be like. You know, today’s going to just be a low day and it’s going to be a hard day, but I’m going to get myself through this. I’m going to get myself through it in whatever capacity that looks like.

And so oftentimes, you know, it’s like I sometimes will make myself, you know if I’m having to lay in bed that day and but I don’t allow myself to wallow, because we don’t want to wallow or pity ourselves. But at the same time, we want to figure out what types of strategies and things help us to get through it. Sometimes, for me, I go for a walk. That’s my one of my ways of coping.

As I go for a long walk, sometimes I’ll go and be with friends or be with family. Sometimes you just don’t want to see anybody, and so on those days you find something else that that would, and then it’s then there’s a time for nothing help, and when that happens, I get to a point where I just allow myself to take a nap, to rest, to try to clear my mind, to try to think it through. You just have to find what works for you and of course, we have friends and family members and internet and other things of ways to cope and you try those coping strategies and some work for you. Some don’t Find what works for you to get through because it’s nobody knows you like you and nobody can do it for you.

0:10:26 – Jessica
So it’s important to take the time to figure out what works for you and how you work and also finding what shouldn’t work, because I know for me, sometimes when I get in those moods I have to tell myself don’t go to food or shopping.

0:10:38 – Leslie Rob
Yes, yes, what would tell therapy in this situation? And no, yeah, no emotional support. I know, I know.

0:10:48 – Jessica
It’s like I’m having a bad day.

0:10:49 – Leslie Rob
Let me go buy something, or eat something yes Like no.

0:10:53 – Jessica
That is not going to. I’m not going to be the person that would just eat my feelings all the time.

0:10:57 – Leslie Rob
Yes, I had to stop because I was eating my feelings and I had gotten to my heaviest. And now I’m in the process of losing weight, of course, but it took me getting to the point where then you’re going to hold another issue, because then you’re going to be depressed because you’re obese and you can’t move and you can’t do so. You’re just going to further feed the depression. So, yeah, finding a balance is what’s best.

0:11:19 – Jessica
Okay, so what would you say to the person who doesn’t want to be around their family during the holidays Because there are so many family dynamics and I know for some people they’re just like. Like I’ve talked to people who are just like I love my family, but there are just some dynamics in my family and I’m just not in the mental space to deal. And then, like one of my friends, she has a lot of family trauma as well, but she is making a trip out west to see her family just because she feels like it’s Christmas. I have to go, it’s an obligation, yes, and she’s like I know when I get back I’m going to be in six straight months of therapy and that sounds like a joke, but it’s not a joke. I remember last year she was in a ball for like a month after visiting her family and I’m like why are you going? I know it’s your family, but is this worth it? But you almost feel bad saying that to somebody. But if it, wasn’t.

0:12:25 – Leslie Rob
Don’t feel bad. Yeah, but don’t feel bad telling people that, because there’s nothing wrong with setting boundaries. There’s nothing wrong with setting boundaries. And if your family is a trigger for you and that’s a word that people need to memorize when it comes to mental health is trigger, it’s figuring out what your triggers are, what your triggers are, because that is what’s going to be so vital into avoiding those triggers. And if her family is a trigger for her, absolutely not, like you’re literally feeding your mental health in the wrong way. Yeah, it’s very detrimental to your mental health.

0:12:57 – Jessica
Yeah, I just feel so, so bad. And the way I explain it to her is if these people weren’t your family and they were just your friends and y’all didn’t have any kind of like blood relation, you wouldn’t go Like you’re only going because Society says it’s your family and you have to go. Do you know what I mean? It’s just I don’t know. It’s just something that says okay, even if this is toxic, just because your blood related, you have to go anyway. Like that’s the stigma, I guess.

0:13:33 – Leslie Rob
Yeah, absolutely not. A lot of people will still go visit family holidays, even if they’re triggered by them or if they have mental trauma or childhood trauma as a result of that, because of the fact that they feel obligated during the holidays to check that box. You are never required to check a box that triggers you. You are never required to check a box that is going to be toxic for you. That is not something that you should ever do. Your mental health is vital. Like they say, your mental health is your wealth. Like you cannot make it if you are not mentally sound. You have to protect and guard your mental health Like it is essential.

And if your family is the thing that’s gonna trigger it or make it to the point where you can’t function, absolutely not. That is not under any obligation, except for blood relation. Like you said that you make sure you think that you have to do this because, like you said, if it was a friend who triggered you in this way, a friend who did this, you under no circumstances would go to that bad gathering. Nor should you be required to check a box at the holidays unless it’s a checking a box that fits for you and see, a lot of times, people do that also because they don’t wanna be left alone during the holidays and they don’t want to be lonely. Okay, well then you have to find and redefine what the holidays look like for you and what’s healthy for you. It’s not about your parents. It’s not about what your siblings are gonna say oh, you should be coming and you should be. No, this is about what is going to be a mentally healthy holiday for you, not everybody else.

0:15:01 – Jessica
Right, yeah, and I think, like I’m 46 and I think the closer I get to 50, like getting towards that, I think the easier it’s becoming. And you know, my mom told me it would be like that the older I got she was like you know, the older you get, the easier it’s gonna be just to say no or hurt people’s feelings, like that’s a bad way, and I’m like you know what I can say no a little bit better. But yeah, I get that. Yeah, no, I get it Okay. So I have to ask you a question. I always ask everybody who’s been a guest so far on Jesus Fix it Okay. And this is gonna put you on the spot a little bit. If you ask Jesus to fix anything, big or small, if it’s trivial, whatever, what would it be for?

0:15:50 – Leslie Rob
Jesus to fix my, my husband? Okay, yeah, if I could, if that was something that I can do, that ask God to fix my husband, because there’s certain things that he’s limited in his capabilities of doing. And I would love for God to fix my husband to be who I thought is, you know, I would marry, and versus who I married out of Obligation, almost like I don’t know how to explain it. So, basically, for me, like I Was in a low place of self-esteem and self-confidence when I got married, I barely even knew my husband, I just got married because that’s what you do, you’re a good Christian girl, you know you get married. Yeah, that’s what I did. I. I didn’t know my husband, I didn’t know him, his limitations mentally, I didn’t know anything. And so and I know you said you’re putting me on the spot but honestly, if, if I were asked the question, jesus, you could fix anything, what would it be? It would be my husband, and because that would be, that’s just me.

0:16:48 – Jessica
I love you, I like you.

0:16:49 – Leslie Rob
I love you Absolutely. I’m always going to be transparent, because I believe that transparency transforms hearts and changes minds. Yeah, and so if we’re constantly hiding our testimony or constantly hiding what we’re going through, how could anybody be changed to help buy it? So I believe that sharing your testimony and sharing things, yeah, the sensitivity of it should be seasonal and then, once that season is passed, you should be able to share it because it’s gonna help bless somebody else, because, like the Bible says, we’re overcome by the word of our testimony. So, yeah, so I’m that person. If you want to know stuff, we want to ask me, because I’m very transparent.

0:17:23 – Jessica
I love that. Hey, if they look at your social media, they’ll know that, exactly, exactly. I love that. That reminds me of this song We’ve been playing. It’s by Corey Asbury.

It’s called kind and it’s all about how you know how, like when you know the bad things in life happen to you, you’re just like, okay, god, why, why did you let this happen? How could God let the bad things happen? Well, this song, he’s like, pretty much addresses that. He’s just like, okay, even when you were going through that thing, god was still there. Like, okay, yeah, that thing may have happened to you, but God is still God. So I love the transparency in that song that says, yeah, bad things are gonna happen, this is what life is, but we still have a big and mighty God. So the fact that you’re transparent, I love that and just made me think of that song. I know that’s totally random. Yes, it’s called kind by Corey Asbury. Hey, I’ll have to look it up, thank you, yes, all right, so you can follow Leslie on social media. Leslie, rob comedy is where they can find you.

Do you have any upcoming shows?

0:18:37 – Leslie Rob
Not before the end of the year. Nope, everything’s now going into the new year, so yeah.

0:18:42 – Jessica
Wow. Can you believe we’re saying going into the new year? I cannot believe it.

0:18:45 – Leslie Rob
I know only a few more weeks left in this year.

0:18:48 – Jessica
It’s crazy, oh, my goodness. Well, thank you. God bless you, praying for you, and we’ve got to do this again. I love talking to you. Oh, thanks for having me on. Yes, thank you so much. I think I hope this blesses somebody.

0:19:04 – Leslie Rob
Yes, me too. I hope it helps someone.

0:19:10 – Announcer
Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candy. Check out Quirksbumpsandbruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts.