Season 4, Episode 7: More in 24!

 0:00:03 – Jess
If you’re new here, welcome. And if you came back, oh God bless ya. Thank you for coming back. This is the Jesus Fix It Podcast. With Jess, we talk about everything. Life it’s craziness, it’s ups and downs, cause you know what Jesus can fix it and he can handle it all.

So what is it you’re supposed to say at the beginning of a new year? New year, new me? Okay, no, seriously, that doesn’t even sound right coming out of my mouth. No, not even new year, new me, not even gonna start the year off like that. But hey, happy 2024, everybody. You made it. We made it. So thankful to God to be here.

Not gonna be a new year, new me kind of year, but what it is gonna be is a new year, letting God continue to do a new thing within me. Cause you know what? I am so tired of doing things my way. I am so tired of doing the same old things, same habits, and trying things my way and they’re just not working out. And if I’m being totally honest and totally transparent, I say this kind of thing like every year. Like every year, I start the year saying, okay, god you win, I give up. Like actually, god you win all the time. But like this time I mean it. Like this time, this is the year that I’m gonna fully surrender. I’m gonna let you do your thing and I’m just gonna chill because it never works out when I try to do things on my own. This time I mean it. Okay, y’all seriously. This time I mean it. I had a serious talk with God and this time I mean it Okay.

You see, this is my 10th year anniversary in ministry and I’m so super excited about that because I get the honor and privilege to serve God every single day and I get to do this and I’m still a mess. I am hot mess. Jess, he loves me anyway, and some days I’m like still in awe that I’m allowed to be a servant and still be a hot mess. Like that’s the God we serve, that we’re allowed to be messy and broken and just full of flaws and he still welcomes us. Wow, like I don’t know. That just still blows my mind. Now I’m not ashamed of my past. I’m not ashamed to say that I’m a mess. I’m not ashamed to say that there are some things because it’s led me to be the person I am today. It’s led me to be closer to Jesus and it’s led me to be here in ministry. It’s led me to be here talking to you guys and hopefully, me being a mess will lead me to encourage someone listening right now to let you know that you can be a hot mess and still be loved by God.

Maybe, me being a mess and you saying that I’ve turned my messy life around, that you can turn yours around too. You see, I am far from perfect. I am flawed. I’m still flawed.

Every single day, I mess up. Every single day, I say things I shouldn’t. I judge people, I yell at my kids. Every single day, I am asking God for some type of forgiveness Every single day. Every single day, I wanna be a better person. Every single day, I need God’s grace and I need God’s mercy. I want him to use me for his glory and I know without a doubt that I wouldn’t have made it this far without his love, without his grace, without his mercy. Here’s the thing he loves you and, yes, you can come just as you are, but he loves you too much to leave you there. That’s why I ask for his forgiveness every single day and that’s why I strive to be a better person. Believe it or not, I don’t want to be hot mess just forever. I know I’m hot mess just, but I don’t want to always be hot mess just. And this year, on the Jesus Fix it podcast, I do want to share more of my life with you and hopefully we can grow through some things together.

As a matter of fact, I was scrolling through social media on Instagram. I’m so old Instagram I couldn’t remember which one I was scrolling through. I was scrolling through Insta the other day and it was Maverick City Music. They had Tasha Cobb’s Leonard she was on one of their posts. I think she’s doing some touring with them and she was sharing her testimony and I thought again. Part of her testimony sounds a lot like mine.

She was talking about how she was having a moment where she was feeling really dark. She was in a dark place and she was alone and she was feeling so super depressed and rejected. She was having this really deep, dark feeling of rejection, so much so that all she could do was go home and stay in bed. It was completely dark and she would just crawl under her covers and just sleep. As a matter of fact, her roommate at the time ended up moving out because she kept it so dark she was just like I can’t stay here, it is too dark, I need sunshine, I need it to be bright. It is just way too dark.

And so she said when she was in that dark place, the enemy would clearly tell her that if you died today, nobody would care, you wouldn’t be missed and there would be another Tasha, just like that. If you were gone, there would be another Tasha to replace you, so nobody would care. The enemy would feed her lies, just like that. And so she said she just stayed in this feeling of depression and rejection. And then she said one day, when she was in that same feeling of being depressed and rejected, she remembered the Lord coming to her and saying Tasha, get up, you are not alone. Your depression is a branch off the root of rejection. You’ve been cutting off branches, but tonight we are going to get to the root. Every single day, look yourself in the mirror and curse the spirit of rejection and receive the spirit of adoption and know that you are not alone. And my takeaway from that is that you can let that be a reminder that God wants to get to the root of your problems. You are never alone in Him. That message spoke to me so much because I remember 10 years ago, before I came to spirit FM, I was in a really dark place when I was feeling rejected.

I had depression and anxiety. They were getting the best of me and I literally would get up in the mornings, I would take my kids to school, I would drop them off and I would come back home and get in the bed. I would get under my covers, I would make everything dark and the enemy was feeding me lies. Also, the enemy would tell me that I was nothing, I was nobody, I was not a good mom, I was just going through my second divorce and he was telling me that I would never be loved, nobody would ever want me, that God didn’t even love me. I remember clearly the things the enemy would say to me and I really believe the only thing during that time that really didn’t take me over the edge were my kids, and that, seriously, was my routine getting up in the mornings, making sure they got to school, picking them up from school and some days I don’t even think I picked them up from school I would have somebody else pick them up from school because I couldn’t get out of bed. I physically couldn’t make myself get out of bed, and it was like one day the Lord spoke to me through a song I heard on Spirit FM and I just kind of was like you know what? You are redeemed, you are loved, you are a child of God. And it was a week later.

I started working at Spirit FM and I love how God works and I love how God will use music, how God uses people, how God just orders our steps, and so I am so excited to see what God will do in my 10th year of ministry and how God will allow me to be used for His glory. And I just want you to know that I am so thankful for you listening to the Jesus Fixed podcast. I want you to know that, even though I don’t see you, even though I don’t know who you are, that may be listening. I pray for you and I am praying that you have a blessed year and that, if you are not a Christ follower, but you still listen, because you wanna hear what I have to say. Thank you, I’m praying for you. I’m praying that you allow God into your heart and I’m praying that you will allow God’s peace to rule in your heart. This is what Philippians in the Bible says. It says don’t be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with Thanksgiving, present your request to God, and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

The world needs people to share the gospel. The world needs those of us to remind people that they are loved by God. I am so thankful that I get to remind so many people that they are loved by God. I am so thankful that I get to remind people to get out from under the covers. I am so thankful that I get to remind people that if you have anxiety or depression or if you feel unlovable, that you have a God that loves you, and you have a God that says I will get to the root of your problem. I am so thankful that we serve a God who says I will love you through your mess, I will love you right where you are, but I love you too much to leave you there.

I am so thankful that God has given me the grace to sustain me and carry me through 10 years. Oh, my goodness, I never would imagine that I would be where I am today. I’m so grateful to God. I am grateful beyond words. I can’t even comprehend it some days that I get to do this. Sure, there are people making millions of dollars who get to be athletes and who get to be movie stars and who get to do all the things, but I get to tell the world all about Jesus. Oh, that is so amazing. If I can be praying for you, please email me and let me know. With all of that said, happy, happy new year, and stay tuned for more to come on the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess.

0:12:23 – Announcer
Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com or search Quirks, Bumps and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts.