Season 4, Episode 14: Navigating the Noise

0:00:03 – Jess

If you’re new here, welcome! And if you came back, oh, God bless ya! Thank you for coming back. This is the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. We talk about everything: life, its craziness, it’s ups and downs. ‘Cause you know what, Jesus can fix it and He can handle it all. Thank you so much for listening to the Jesus Fix it podcast, and my friend Amy is joining me today. Hello, we were just laughing because I’m in the studio right now with Amy and I think I may have broken something and we won’t find out until in the morning when we go live on the air. 

0:00:43 – Amy

So that’s OK, Jesus will fix it. 

0:00:46 – Jess

Look at you. I see what you did there. I’m not a techie person, so I just like X out of everything. And sometimes Doug will come in here and say so let me show you something, and he’s real nice about it. 

0:01:03 – Amy

Yeah, as long as the computer’s not yelling at me and flashing something on my screen that says don’t mess up. 

0:01:10 – Jess

Yeah, I click the X’s too, see, okay, all right. Well, we digress. We’re just gonna have some conversation today about any and everything. Okay, yeah, things that are on our mind, like opinions that nobody asked us about, but we wanted to give anyway. Okay, all right. So there’s this one thing that I wanted to ask you about. Okay, your mom have two kids, yes, okay, and so this is so funny. This is almost silly to talk about, but, okay, you may have seen this on social media the other day. This mom, you may have seen this on social media the other day. This mom, she posted a picture of her family in the pool and she said happy celebrating pool time is bath time. 

The reason I’m bringing this up is because that post it was for just, I think, her Instagram. It was over 11,000 comments. It didn’t stop there. On TikTok, like they drag some people drag this lady Now. Look how you raise your kids is your business, that’s on you. I personally don’t feel like pool time is bath time. 

0:02:21 – Amy

I am the same way. However, my husband would probably disagree sometimes because I don’t know if you know this we have a pool. It is salt water, so he thinks that sometimes that can be. But, don’t the chemicals in the pool? They’re not as bad as chlorine, but still I have to shower every day. I want my kids to shower every day. Don’t set that precedent. 

0:02:46 – Jess

Okay, but this is the thing, I guess if it’s your own private pool, it’s a little different, a little different. 

0:02:54 – Amy

Where was she? I can see that. 

0:02:56 – Jess

She looked like she was at like her country club or like a community pool or something like that, Because I’ve seen what kids do in the pool yeah, I’ve seen that. I’ve seen a kid lose their diaper in the pool before. I know that’s gross, but I’m just like no, no, I can’t go public. 

0:03:12 – Amy

No, and even even in our own home, I just our own pool, I don’t know, that’s not bath water to me. 

0:03:19 – Jess

There is no soap. 

0:03:21 – Amy

There is no shampoo. 

0:03:23 – Jess

I know, I know, ok. So the thing about that is, like I said, I don’t like to judge other people’s parenting. How you raise your kids is how you raise your kids. Don’t tell me how to raise mine. Okay, that’s what you want to do, but as a society, to go in on this woman. Do you think, when we put stuff on social media and we put ourselves out there, that you’re kind of like I hate to use this term asking for it? Like, if you’re putting stuff out there like that and people go in, do you kind of have to brace yourself for what you’re going to get these days from social media? 

0:03:55 – Amy

Yes, you do, I mean, whether you have a platform of followers or if you don’t, if it’s just a small little snippet of friends that are on there. I’ve gotten it from anyone and everyone on my page and sometimes it can be the littlest thing, right. I mean, it’s something that seems so innocent and you’re like how did that blow up like that. So I feel for this lady, but at the same time, she did put herself out there, put it out there, and especially if she put it on more than one social media platform yeah, and it went viral Instagram, TikTok, I don’t know about yeah, I mean, if you share it on all those platforms and you make it public, you have to take the public ridicule along. 

You have to take the positives and the negatives. 

0:04:43 – Jess

See, this is why I usually nowadays I post to my stories more than anything, because that stuff disappears and if anybody’s gonna act crazy, they’re commenting in private, mostly because you know when they comment on your story, most of the time that’s just like in your inbox, right, your private inbox, right. So I started just posting to my story. Most of the time I do want to like post publicly more, like on my page. But it got to the point where I’m like OK, I’m sitting here. Second, I am a grown woman, I am 46 years old, and I’m sitting here having to read the sentence 10 times to figure out if I’m going to offend somebody In fear of scrutiny. Right, am I going to get canceled if I say this, and I’m like I don’t mean anything by it, but is somebody going to take it this way, like it’s so much pressure just to like use a social media platform now. 

0:05:36 – Amy

Yes, very much so Very much so. People put themselves out there and then they forget that we are human. We have emotions. Unfortunately, there are some out there who cannot keep their emotions in and they become keyboard warriors the keyboard crusaders Keyboard crusaders. I had a friend actually yesterday who posted some screenshots and wanted to use those screenshots as a method to talk about social media etiquette and what to yeah, how to respond and how not to respond. And it was where she had taken a picture of where she and her mom had gotten matching tattoos on their arms. Yeah, and it was a special meaning behind it. She didn’t put that in her caption, but then she had to explain herself in a comment because somebody came and was like well, why did you do that to your body? So that’s a whole other topic. 

Oh my goodness, yeah so yes, social media can be a great place, but it can also be very evil. Yes, it can. 

0:06:38 – Jess

Yeah, I just I don’t know. I know yours are still in school, but I know I’m glad we’re beyond that stage. I know my one son. I told them they couldn’t. My kids weren’t allowed to have social media until they were 18. I know y’all are going to probably think I’m the strictest parent ever. 

0:06:58 – Amy

Abigail doesn’t have okay she doesn’t have it and she’s 16. Yes, I told her she doesn’t need those pressures. She already has social pressures at school. She does not need that. Like I call it, fomo, which adults struggle with that these days I’m like, oh my gosh yeah. Yeah, so I don’t want her exposed to that and we talk about that too as that being a reason why and because she’s 16, she’s a young girl, she’s pretty we have to talk about the hard subjects of you know, the predatory things, Mm-hmm. 

0:07:32 – Jess

And I used to think Also I know this is probably silly also, but I used to wonder, okay, am I making my kids miss out on the fun stuff, like, am I making them miss out on anything? And I think it worked for us. Like our oldest son he’s 23 now, but we found out he did go behind our backs and get a Snapchat and he had an Instagram. And he had an Instagram because it was like the minute he had his 18th birthday party he was sending me stuff on Instagram and stuff like that and then I wasn’t his friend anymore on those socials. 

But he wanted me to know hey, I can get social media now I’m 18. That was your rule. And I’m like okay. But I’m like, how did you make this account so quickly? And I started thinking, and then I started looking. I’m like, hold on now. And so he had gone behind our backs and created social media accounts without us knowing it. But then my youngest son, he’s 20, and he, to this day, does not like social media. So I’m like, ok, I’m one for one, yeah social media. 

0:08:38 – Amy

So I’m like, okay, I’m one for one. Yeah, yeah, we monitor, not very strictly, but just very efficiently and effectively. I would say, I mean, there are times where I’ll look over her shoulder and she’s watching a YouTube video. Then I’m like, why are you watching that? But at the same time I think back to my 16-year-old self and what was popular then, exactly. And as long as it’s not inappropriate, you know, you have to let them. Let the kid be a kid, exactly. But social media, just it can be such an evil place. 

0:09:09 – Jess

I think in our lifetime, social media is always going to be a topic. It’s just always going to be one of those things that we’re constantly having to monitor. It’s one of those things that’s constantly going to be tweaked, each year I mean each month even. They’re going to come out with something. 

0:09:31 – Amy

I know there’s going to be something. I mean, were you ever in chat rooms when AOL was the thing, when we were younger? 

0:09:36 – Jess

I mean, I’m 42. 

0:09:39 – Amy

I’m 42. So I’m right around that age. You know, I think back to the chat rooms and just hanging out with my friends in those private chat rooms, even though we saw each other. 

0:09:50 – Jess

Yeah, I remember my mom when she found out we were in a chat room. Why are y’all in a chat room? Why can’t y’all just talk in person? Y’all just saw each other in school. Why y’all got to go in a chat room and talk Like right, it was just like what it was, that that was our social media. It was yeah, yes, okay, while we’re still talking about the kiddos, this is so funny to me that this happened. 

So these parents took their daughter on a cruise. She had just graduated. Have you heard about this? Okay, so, as a graduation present, parents took their daughter on a cruise and they are giving her this lecture. You know how we do as parents. You know when you get on this cruise. You know this is your first cruise, because they usually vacation alone, do the cruise alone. But for her graduation, they’re like, ok, you’re going to come to and they’re telling her how to act. Don’t you get on here acting crazy when you’re supposed to be here. You do this. Let us know where you’re going. At all times Don’t talk to strangers. You know they’re giving her the business. You know being parents, right, you know how we do. You know being parents. You know how we do. Well, when it came time to port to go shopping, and you know, walk about the island and that type of thing, you know, when you’re on a cruise, you have to be back by a certain time or now they will leave you. 

Yes, they will leave you. And so she’s telling her parents OK, time is ticking, we got to get back to the ship. Well, her parents were trying to haggle with the locals. They were buying some souvenirs and things like that, and they’re haggling about prices, going back and forth with the locals, and girlfriend was like okay, listen, mom, dad, we got to go. Her parents were like okay, we got time. You know what? Stay in your lane, little girl. We’ve done this before. She ended up going back to the ship and leaving them. The ship left them. They got left. They had to purchase two plane tickets Wow To get back to port, Because after that the ship went back home, back to port. So how’s? 

0:11:53 – Amy

that responsibility shift? Yes. 

0:11:56 – Jess

And so the Internet has been torn. The Internet possibility shift, yes, and so the internet has been torn. The internet was like okay, should the daughter have stayed with her parents, or do you think the daughter did? 

0:12:09 – Amy

the right thing and went back to the ship without her parents. That’s a tough one, I mean. It depends on how. It depends on the story of how much she was pulling on them and saying time is ticking, we need to get back on this boat, but I’m sorry, just because of their decision, their bad decision to stay, why, why does that now become her bad? 

decision, they wouldn’t want one of her bad decisions to become one of their decisions. I know I was so torn on this and she had just graduated, so she was 18. Probably 17, 18. I graduated when I was so torn on this and she had just graduated, so she was 18, probably 17, 18. 

0:12:40 – Jess

I graduated when I was 17, probably 17 or 18, I guess, so she was certainly old enough to watch herself for the time being. I guess this is the part I’m torn on. I feel like if I were with my friends and my friends were like that, I would have left them in a heartbeat. But then the parent in me would have been like I don’t want to be separated from my child, like that, right, my child has gone ahead of me. And now when my child gets back to port, first, what is she going to do? Well, yeah, you know, they have to wait for, you know, a flight and all that stuff. So she’s like separated from her people.

0:13:18 – Amy

Right. I actually just went on my first cruise in February and if her cruise was the same way set up as this one, you have to go through a security check when you get back on the boat. So I think she probably should have found some sort of authoritative person. And maybe I don don’t know maybe there wasn’t enough time to make that split decision. I don’t know. I just think. 

If I don’t know, I don’t know me neither, I’m just so torn on this I have to think about, if it was me and my mom, or me and my parents, what I would do. Yeah. 

0:13:58 – Jess

Yeah, I don’t know, I’m that one who I probably would have been back at the boat like 30 minutes before because, like normally, if I was like here, somebody would have to tear me away from shopping. But in a foreign place, a place I don’t know, I’m not, you’re not leaving me behind. 

0:14:14 – Amy

And see, that’s me too. That’s me too If I’m on time. I’m late. Exactly yeah, that’s a tough one, I know. I’m kind of down the middle on that one. I feel for her. I know why she did what she did, yeah, so the outcome was that they had to get plane tickets. 

0:14:31 – Jess

Yeah, the parents had to get plane tickets and they had to fly back to port to meet her. Wherever their port was I don’t know if it was somewhere on the East Coast, Florida or somewhere like that but wherever the port city was, they had to catch a flight and catch up with her there. Wow, yeah, I know. And then somebody else did comment, though, on the post and say something like because this made the news. This was like news. I don’t know how it got in, but I don’t know how I missed it. 

But somebody made the comment well, at least they didn’t have to buy three plane tickets, because if she would have stayed behind they would have had to spend. You know, spend the money for three plane tickets instead of two. So maybe that’s a comfort. I don’t know. I just think as a parent, I would have been proud of my child for OK, this is a way to show me you know, you’re responsible, you’re ready for the world, you did the right thing. But then also I would have been so like worried, ok, is she OK, is she being, you know, alert and aware of her surroundings? Like I have one child where, if he would have left me behind, I know he would have been OK, he would have you know, he probably would have been like my child If it had been Abigail that got back on that boat. 

0:15:49 – Amy

She probably would have charged everything she could to the room, that’s my other kid. 

0:15:55 – Jess

My other kid would have spent all my money. He would have talked to every single stranger. Hey, do you want to hang out? I’m like you don’t know people. 

0:16:02 – Amy

That would have been my one child Gone to the restaurants that are not included in the cruise package. 

0:16:08 – Jess

That would have been my oldest, my youngest he is like the youngest miser I know he wouldn’t have spent any money. He wouldn’t have spent any money. He wouldn’t have talked to anybody. He doesn’t like people anyway. So you know I wouldn’t have had to worry about him, but the other one, I would have been worried the whole time. 

0:16:26 – Amy

But see, here’s my thing with that. They kind of brought that worry on themselves because they were not being responsible adults. You know what you have a point. That’s where I kind of feel about that one, but it doesn’t mean that the worry is not validated. Yeah, I can’t say that I wouldn’t be worried about my teenage daughter being back on a boat. 

0:16:51 – Jess

But I think I’m going to worry for the rest of my life as a parent, teenage daughter being back on a boat, but I think I’m going to worry for the rest of my life as a parent. 

0:16:57 – Amy

Oh yeah, I mean I’m 42 and I think my mom still worries about me. 

0:17:00 – Jess

Yeah my mom definitely, yeah. If she calls one time and we don’t pick up, she is ready to dispatch the FBI and have people hunt us down. I can’t remember. Are you the baby? No, I’m the oldest. You’re the oldest. See, I’m the baby. Oh, okay, yeah, so you definitely. 

0:17:18 – Amy

Yeah, once the baby, always the baby. 

0:17:21 – Jess

Absolutely yes, because we still call my young He’ll be 21 this year and we always refer to him as the baby, right, and he doesn’t like that very much, but we can’t help it, we just do Right, even his brother’s like have you heard from the baby today? I’m sure he enjoys that a lot. Okay so, I know this is personal and if it’s too personal let me know. Okay, so, without like, you don’t have to say like your stance or anything like that, but I want to know how you talk to your kids, or if you talk to your kids about, like, the political climate of today. 

Like, how do your kids handle that? Like, do you sit down and talk to your kids about politics? And, hey, it’s a crazy election season coming up. This is how we handle talking to people Like are they too young to have that conversation now? Or how do you handle the meanness that can happen on both sides? Like, how do you handle? Hey, we can have difference in opinion and we can still love each other. Or, hey, you can have cordial conversations or just avoid conversations Like I just want to know how other parents are talking to their children about politics, especially this year, since it’s an election year. 

0:18:37 – Amy

Right? Well, both you know I have a 16-year-old and a 12-year-old, and my 12-year-old, even though he’s just 12, he’s mature and he’s very smart and he picks up on things, Noah. So, yes, my Noah, yes, my Noah. We have this conversation a lot just because of Christianity and you know beliefs of the church and you can love the sinner but hate the sin, type of thing. So it kind of goes into that whole mindset about how we are supposed to love everyone. Everyone’s going to have a different opinion. We haven’t really talked a lot about this political season, to be honest with you. I just got so worn out by it four years ago. 

Yeah, you know and we got to a point where we honestly just we turned off the TV in the evening. 

0:19:27 – Jess

Good idea and don’t even. 

0:19:29 – Amy

We don’t even watch the news anymore that way. You know, we’ll turn it on if we know that weather might be coming and we need to see the weather. But I mean, it’s just I don’t know. I just feel like sometimes the media stirs things up to make those sides so it becomes newsworthy, and I just think that is so wrong. These days it’s dividing so many people and so we’re always an open book. If our kids come to us about something, we want them to come to us about something. But political environment they’ve always gone to the polls with us. 

0:20:06 – Jess

Oh, okay. 

0:20:07 – Amy

I’ve actually. Yeah, I used to have them fill out the ballot we talked about, yeah, I mean we do sometimes talk about topics of what’s important, especially economy, when COVID was going on just the social divide, yeah, and I told them unfortunately you can’t just go by political parties anymore, you really have to hone in on your candidates and totally disregard the issues at hand, yeah. 

0:20:37 – Jess

I wish more people would just turn off the TV and just vote for who you want to vote for and everybody just get along. 

0:20:47 – Amy

I know I’m asking way too much World peace. It’s like that Miss America thing. What do you have? World peace, peace? It’s like that Miss America thing. 

0:20:54 – Jess

World’s peace and I’m understanding that now more than ever. Now that I’m at this age and this climate, I’m just like just vote for who you want to vote for, I’ll vote for. I want to vote for you, vote for who you want to vote for. We can have difference in opinion, we can have, you know, different view, like, ok, now, if you have certain views, I mean, you may not be able to be friends, I can still love you, but we may not be able to hang out, depending on what your views are. But why can’t we? At the end of the day, why does it have to make us all so divisive, right, so divided? You know what I mean? 

0:21:27 – Amy

I just, I really, really hate that I have a friend that I know is totally on the opposite end of the spectrum than me with when it comes to political issues, but we’re still friends. 

0:21:39 – Jess

You’re still civil. 

0:21:40 – Amy

Yeah, you know, it’s like we don’t. Yeah, we don’t cut each other down, we don’t, you know? I just think that opens up a whole new can of worms, because people use that as their platform to say this is right and you are wrong, and they want that whole I call them a posse behind them of people to comment and agree with them the keyboard crusaders. Yeah, the keyboard crusaders, and that’s just where it’s just too much. 

0:22:15 – Jess

It really is. 

0:22:16 – Amy

We have not watched the news for a while. Good for you. 

0:22:19 – Jess

I like that. 

0:22:21 – Amy

If something comes across my phone, you know I’ll take the time to read it if I’ve got the time, but most of the time it’s Abigail letting me know, hey, mom have you seen this? You know or have you heard about this? 

0:22:34 – Jess

Yeah, yeah, yeah, my kids are older, of course. They’re 23 and 20. And they’ve, of course, formed their own opinions. They already know who they’re going to vote for, I guess. But my oldest son, he’s very opinionated. This generation, look, they’re giving us a run for their money. They are so opinionated, they know where they stand. I love that for them. But him and his dad, they can’t talk politics because they’re on totally opposite and, like their debates get really, really heated. Yeah, and I think that’s what it’s going to be at a lot of family gatherings this year. Can we just agree not to talk politics and just love each other? Right Would be the best, yeah. 

0:23:25 – Amy

I mean there are issues at hand and they do need to be talked about, but they need to be talked about in the right way, exactly, yeah, there you go. And they need to be with people who are actually going to make the positive change, exactly. Yeah, I could never be a political candidate. No, and I don’t want to be no, no. 

0:23:43 – Jess

So one thing we know for sure somebody’s grandpa is going to be president. 

0:23:50 – Amy

Either way, there we go. This is true. I vote for Kid President. 

0:23:55 – Jess

We love Kid President. I love Kid President. I love Kid President Anytime I can play some of Kid President’s stuff on air, I do. I don’t even know how old Kid President is anymore, but I love playing his old stuff. So love Kid President. So if you’re a guest on Jesus, fix it. I ask this one question. Put everybody on the spot. It can be something totally small, it can be something really really big. It’s just whatever you’re feeling today, in the moment. Okay, and here’s the question. If you could have Jesus fix anything right now, what would it be? 

0:24:31 – Amy

Oh, my goodness. 

0:24:32 – Jess

I know there are lots of things, but one thing Family relationship. 

0:24:37 – Amy

Girl, there you go. Yes, Just going to leave it at that. Family relationships. 

0:24:47 – Announcer

Friends to laugh with and be real with. The Peas and Carrots Podcast with Brian and Kayla Sanders. Check out peasandcarrotspodcast.com or search Peas and Carrots wherever you listen.